You never know

I watched this video today and was left in tears. My kids are younger than the three in the video but other than that, it is scary how much I relate to this woman's life. Although, I do have a husband that comes home every day and is the biggest help that I could ask for.

As a missionary, I was able to participate in several baptisms of converts that I had taught although all of them took place in the first half of my mission when I was junior companion. I didn't know Spanish very well and so I would add what I could to lessons, but I never took a lot of credit for helping to bring these great people to the gospel. I was however affected by the change I saw in them and desired to bring more people the joy I had known and seen.
The second half of my mission, I worked even harder than the first half, but I saw no baptisms. I did however get over any fear I had of approaching strangers on the street and talking to anyone and everyone. I know it wasn't the most effective way of teaching, but I loved knocking on doors and sharing a bit of the gospel with anyone that would let me in. I loved to find opportunities to serve ward members and inactive members and if nothing else be a friend to all.  I had several investigators that I taught and saw changes in them but in the end there were too many hurtles and they were unable to overcome them. I began to question whether it was a matter of my faith that I was unable to baptize anyone.
The day came that I was ready to return home. I was in the mission home with several other missionaries returning to their various states and countries after a completed mission. An Elder approached me and said that he had baptized someone I had contacted on the street. I wondered how he knew but the young man described both my companion and I to a T. It took me by surprise. I had confidence that I had served a good mission because I was going home a better person with a stronger testimony but I really had no idea that anything I had done or said came to any good. God gave me just a glimpse of the good I had done at just the right time in my life. It was a precious gift.
I am not a full time missionary but I do still strive to share what I know by my actions and occasionally my words. I have had lots of opportunities to serve some really great people in some really great places, and my intentions were only to do God's will. I know that I will never know what any of it means to others, but the one way can know, is that I feel good inside when I serve. I am happier when I put others needs above my own.

We're the Stewarts! And we like to party!

Lucy was up late the previous night and we were reading a Christmas book. That got us thinking about Christmas, and parties. We started talking about our favorite parts..., mostly presents, party hats and cupcakes. She said we should have a party, I said "OKAY!, Lets do it!" We decided to make it a family home evening birthday party. We started the planning when Molly and Louis were down for afternoon naps. First we sent an invitation to Daddy, via phone, and then we gathered gifts around the house and wrapped one for each person. Lucy wanted cupcakes, and cake. Done. I made a flower cake out of a small cake in the middle and cupcakes around the edges. Both of the girls helped with the cake. I have a stack of party hats from other parties we have had so we got those out. The only thing missing was balloons, which is the only thing Molly would not stop talking about. So I had James pick up some balloons on the way home from work. The party planning was complete.

The girls ate dinner as fast as they could so we could get the party started. The funny thing is that it is Molly's birthday in just two weeks, but we couldn't wait til then. And why not celebrate now and then. So we did just that. It actually started me thinking, Why do we wait so long in between each party? Parties are fun and so easy to throw together. And really, can you have too many parties...? I don't think so. I think we may make this a tradition. In addition to annual birthday parties, we will throw in a couple of extra "family" parties during the longer stints of time, because it makes everyone involved happy. 

Other than our non- birthday, birthday party, other things that have made me happy this week include 1. "Dancing with the stars," Did you see the season premier? I was pretty much gut laughing the entire way through. So many good moments, and so many train wrecks.

2. My daily burn workouts with Justin Rubin. If you don't know about daily burn, or true beginner, I love it and use it everyday! check it out here.

3. The discovery park in pleasant grove that we just discovered. I knew of it before, but I didn't have kids old enough to enjoy it before. I had just as much fun as the kids, and wished that I could have been with out the baby so I could have done even more!

4. The temple. I got to go tonight and had a lot of time to just sit and read in there. It was so nice to be in a quiet place and think about God and all that he has blessed me with. Especially the body that he has given me. It is not with out flaw but it is mine and it is special to me. 

5. We have been soaking up the sun and enjoying what I assume is the last weeks or days of nice weather. I am in a little bit of denial of what is to come. Its easier for me to enjoy the present temperature if I am not thinking about the dropping temperatures in the near future, so I will stick to that. 

Some times you find the perfect toy. The
one that they never get tired of and always
come back to. That is this little people
princess castle. It is timeless. 

Two purple dresses... (and a whole lotta messes)

Tonight, all I have to say is that parenting is not for the faint of heart. Lucy has been throwing up all night. It was only about 10 days ago when Molly threw up all night long. I am amazed each time how easy it is to get out of bed and clean up throw up mess after throw up mess. By easy, I mostly just mean, we just do it. Whatever needs to get done to meet our children's need at the time.
I was listening to the radio the other day and the dj said that Mother's complete 42 tasks a day for their children alone. I thought it was a strange statistic and also how do they define task. Does chasing down your child to put on one shoe only to have them run away and have to catch them put on the other shoe only to have the first shoe missing.... count as one task: putting on child's shoes? And 42.... what kind of mothers are they surveying? I am sure that I do way more than that in a day and to anyone around me that would come in my house might believe I accomplished nothing in the day. The dj also said that if I was a mom, I should take out a pencil tomorrow and write down all the tasks I do in a day... but that right there is another task and 43 tasks would probably be the straw that broke my back.
Some days are hard, but I promise you and anyone reading this, that the benefits and joy of raising children extend far beyond the pain and the hard times. If I were to do it over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
One thing that happened this week that was a delightful surprise, is my mom sent the girls a package. It was stuffed full of treasures. Molly woke up from her nap and when she saw this nightgown, immediately started tearing off her clothes to get it on. Lucy liked hers as well, but was not quite so eager to change her clothes. She humored her mother and put it on so I could take some pictures. Molly was in fancy dress heaven. She wore that night gown for two days straight. The girls found a bunch of bows at the bottom of one of the play totes. I started to put a few in each of their head of hair, but they wanted them all! I obliged and was grateful for yet again another good picture taking opportunity.
It wasn't long before James was supposed to be home and we like to go wait for him on the steps. I had the girls go sit on the steps and then they wandered off and shared the magic with everyone in the complex. It was fantastic.
I love having two girls. I love having two different girls. They add a lot of drama with their individual personalities, but they make my life interesting.
I love having a boy too, and can't wait for what Louis will bring to the table. Right now he sleeps through most of the drama and I appreciate that. Since we changed his diet up a little bit he has been sleeping through the night. It's been amazing and I hope he keeps it up.

Lucy talks.

Lucy has been saying the funniest things lately. Here is two conversations that made me laugh.

Lucy came home crying from preschool. It was something about a fight over the middle seat of her friend that she carpools with. She was really worked up. I had her join me on the bed. I cuddled next to her and Molly came to join us. I got a book and tried to keep them both happy.
Me: Lucy, lets read this book. (Starting to open the book... Lucy takes the book away from me and throws it on the ground.)
Lucy: No mom, cry with me.
Me: Okay.

Lucy was sitting up to a snack at the table. I think I was holding the baby.
Lucy: Hey mom, can you do me a favor.
Me: .... okay.
Lucy: (pointing over to a pair of shoes on the ground) Can you pick up those shoes and put them in the basket.
I think she has heard that once or twice... or a million times from her mom. It made me laugh so hard.

Routine is life.

I came out off the room to this picture... all with babies.

My days are all a lot a like. I may complain about it every once and awhile, but the truth is the routine is really what gets me through. I am able to stay calm on days that are hard, because I know that at 7:30 my kids will be safely tucked into bed and I will have a moment to breath before I have to meet their every need again for several hours in a row. I get most impatient when I have tasks to accomplish outside my children and home. That is when I become irritable and my kids are often the recipients of the impatience. Now that I have three, I have given myself the excuse to really focus on them and absolutely nothing else. Hobbies, crafts, and other projects I have decided will be for later in life. For now, I am a mom and I will fulfill that role to the best of my ability and hope that it is enough.

Whoa!

Right now is one of those rare moments (tender mercies if you will) when Molly and Louis are sleeping and Lucy is at preschool, the house is semi-clean and dinner is already started, and I have a moment to myself. Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself in these moments, because I have very few hobbies and current interests outside my children. Some might find this sad, but for me it is just a life decision and I am happy with it.
I am glad however that I have this blog. I have enjoyed being more faithful at writing and staying on top of my personal/family history. It has been an effective outlet for me. James has even said a couple of times when I have been sad or upset, "maybe you should go write about it and you will feel better." He is right. I do feel better when I write. I don't proclaim to be a great writer by any means, but writing for me is very therapeutic.

Steppin in Daddy's shoes. 

Just a few updates I guess, Lucy is LOVING preschool. She seems so grown up now that she spends 4 hours away from home every week on her own. She always brings a back pack full of arts and crafts home each time and I know she is pleased to be doing these sorts of activities. She also has quite a few really good friends and it is so fun to see them play together. She is at the age where they are just becoming social players and I love to watch it.
Molly still loves her naps and really enjoys the time that Lucy is away. She loves her mothers attention and seeks it at all times. She is easily provoked and loves to provoke others, but when she loves she is the cutest thing you've ever loved. That is why it is so easy for me to ignore the constant screams and cries she puts out.
Louis is growing so much. He is getting quite round in the face and middle. I shaved off his hair the other day because I was tired of the crusty dead hair on the top of his head. He is still cute even as a baldy.
Well that is all the time I have. Lucy will be home from preschool in the next 5 minutes. Molly and Louis will be awake in the next 20 minutes and I will be back to my post.

Moving on.

Louis is growing so much everyday.

Just a quick update in case you were wondering, I have not missed one day of exercising and I have cut down on my sugar intake immensely. I feel great and although the results may not be visible it matters a lot less to me. I have also not missed a day reading my scriptures and I can not discount that as part of the reason I feel a lot better as well. And although I haven't posted everyday, I do work on baby books or send letters on days when I don't post. So progress is being made.

Who needs a doll when you have a real baby.

Despite the improvements in my life there are still little things that can set off a range of emotions that I am neither proud of or enjoy. Tonight on my way to the gym I stopped to get the mail. There was a medical bill in there forwarded from St George from when Louis was born. My stomach sank as I remembered that I forgot to take care of it before I moved. I am pretty sure that my insurance covers the cost but I had needed to call and let them know that they needed to bill insurance instead of me, and I had failed to do so. The words written on the letter to describe my mistake were "severely delinquent." I will call them in the morning and hopefully set everything right, but those words won't leave me alone tonight.

I've ALWAYS wanted a kids table and finally found one
that was cheap and adorable. So pleased!

From a very young age I always hated getting into trouble. I avoided it at all cost. When I entered the MTC and heard of all the things the missionaries in my district had done in high school (nothing immoral) I wondered if I had missed out on life a little bit because I didn't take more risks in the name of fun or experiment. The honest truth is it wasn't in my nature, and it wasn't my idea of fun. So I stayed in my comfortable bubble of doing what I knew was right with very little risk that might disappoint my parents or others. I am not perfect by any means. I have made millions of mistakes and will most likely make millions more in my lifetime, but its hard when the mistakes are made quite innocently and I still receive criticism. I can dwell on that for a long time, but what helps me to get over it quickly is the Atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ. Through him all is made right. Even the little things, the little daily mistakes that I make. It doesn't mean that I am not expected to continue to try and improve but it does mean that when I do wrong and I come to Him I will feel better. Gosh, I am so grateful for that knowledge. I can not express the gratitude I have for my Savior enough. He is the source of my happiness. He allows me the ability to move on.

Tonight these guys joined forces to protect this little one while she slept. I am so glad she has someone (or many someones) to watch over her when I am not able to. 

Evolution of three friends.

Three friends met in Tucson Arizona while serving the Lord. It was hard. 

Three friends came home together and dated... a lot. 

 The first was introduced to a friend of the other two and got married. 

 The second moved back home and got married. 

The third.. 

 The third waited a little longer...

.... And then got married. 

 They all started their own family...

That grew into this! (Louis not pictured)