God sent me Louis

On my darkest days, when life seems so grim, it is this boys smile that always helps me to see the light. I love my girls, but I think God must have known what I would be going through at this time, and he knew that I needed Louis. He is my angel baby and I love him so much. 

Skin

Some days are not great, but we party anyway.

Some days I wake up and have all the ambition in the world. My house is usually clean on those days and the kids are taken out on several different outings.

She is in love with these high heels and
the dress. 

Some days I don't want to wake up and wish I could sleep a little longer,... or maybe the whole day. Some days I yell more than usual and then cry because of the guilt I feel for yelling. Some days, I pray and pray and pray and help doesn't always seem to find me. I wonder on those days what I am supposed to learn or what I need to be doing different. Some days it is hard to make the changes necessary to make it a better day. Some days I almost prefer to just stay miserable. That sounds ridiculous but its true and I don't know why. Some days it is just plain hard to be a decent parent to three beautiful and precious children that God has trusted me with.

She asks to hold Louis everyday, even though
he is way to big to be held by a small child. 

Today is one of those days. It is also Molly's birthday. I feel bad that she will have to read this one day, but hopefully we can laugh together, because she has been so ornery all morning. I don't know really how to help her. I'm just thankful that she is two and will not have too much recollection of her second birthday besides the pictures that we take.
The one truth that keeps running through my head is something that Elder Uchtdorf said at the Relief Society General broadcast on Saturday. "God loves you this very day and always. He's not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heart felt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light, and believed even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse of the times you have fallen short or failed and STILL, He loves you."
-Dieter F Uchtdorf

Keep calm and party on.

I needed that message on Saturday and I need that message today and probably everyday. I have so many weaknesses. I am trying so hard to overcome them everyday, but some days I get discouraged, because the progress is so slow. It is hard not to throw up my hands and be done. I have to keep trying and keep being a little bit better. And when I mess up, I have to get up and try again. I tell my kids to do it, so why is it so hard for me to follow my own advice. 

For the record, the day got a little bit better. James came home early and gave me some time alone. It was interesting because as I sat and thought about how I wanted to spend my time alone, I could have very easily laid down and shut my eyes or turned on something to watch, but I knew very well that wasn't going to help the darkness that I was feeling inside. So instead I wrote some letters, I cleaned the kitchen and listened to a talk from the recent Relief Society General Conference. I also made dinner. Those few simple acts of service, lifted my spirits far more than a nap or television show could have. I am grateful I know myself and what it takes to get me moving in the right direction again. 

We were able to celebrate Molly's birthday at family home evening with the Skaggs family. It was fun to recognize her and enjoy the evening with family and friends. Molly is a special part of our family. She is 100% diva. She loves purple, and anything fancy and shiny. She can throw a fit like no one I've seen over any little thing. I spend much of my time during the day changing her clothes. And I love her. She loves me. Her hugs and cuddles are the sweetest you've ever felt. 

Happy Birthday to ME!!

Anyone that knows me knows that I don't let my birthday pass by. I like to celebrate, and I like to celebrate how I want to. So I always make the plans for my birthday. That way it is never a disappointment. This year was no different. I knew we would be up north for my birthday so I booked a room in the tower at Little America. James' parents, and Anna watched our kid and we spent the first kidless night we have ever spent together since we had Lucy. It was weird and so amazing. We actually didn't even leave the hotel. We wanted to maximize our experience there, so we ate there, swam, and overall just enjoyed the view. It was so much fun and the most sleep I had gotten in one night in as long as I can remember.

We moved the couch over so that it was right next to the window. It was so Awesome!

No kids! This never happens. 

I'm so FANCY! 

We went home the following Sunday and quickly packed up all of our stuff. My real birthday was on Monday so I invited my St George family over for icecream party and they helped pack our kitchen. I thought it was a fair trade. We miss living so close to all of them, but I am so glad for the time we had in St George. It was so fun to live in the house I grew up in and be able to be so close to a few of my siblings.

 This was our last visit to the St George Children's Museum. This place served us well while we were there. 

 Happy Birthday to me. 

 Lucy LOVES party hats and always insists that there are party hats at all parties. 

 Grandma and Molly. 

 Aunt Mandy can always get Louis to smile more than anyone else. 

We will miss these faces and the great back yard that we enjoyed while we were there. 

Bienvenidos Hermana Stewart!

I think I may have been more excited for James' sister Anna to come home from her mission than he was. I told him that I was going to drive up and be there at the airport when she got home and he could stay in St. George with the kids. It worked out for all of us to be there, because James got a job offer in Utah County and we needed to come look for a place to live before he began. James' parents were very gracious and took care of the kids a lot while we were searching desperately for a place to live. It was an exhausting task, but everything worked out just as it should. 

Here are some of the highlights from the week we spent in Tooele: 

 The rain was pouring for several days while we were there. The girls (and their mom) loved to go out and stomp around in the puddles. 

 "If all the rain drops were lemon drops and gum drops...." wouldn't you?

 "Ah, ah ah ah ah ah....."

 Molly booted Louis out of his seat. She needed a break, waiting for Anna at the airport. 

 Anna baby sat Lucy every Friday while I was working at KOTM. Lucy was very excited to see her again... (I'm not sure how much she remembers, but there were balloons, so she was excited). 

 She's here! I cried instantly when I saw her. I held back the tears when I saw that none of the rest of the family was crying. Anna has always been a good friend, and I missed her too. I'm so glad she's back. 

 We are so glad she is home and even more excited that she is close to us. Not only is she the best Aunt ever, she is also the best babysitter around! Lucky us!

This happens every Louis gets put on the ground, still to this day. I'm so glad there is already some love between these three. 

Backing up: Stewart Family Reunion 2014

The Stewart family reunions only happen about once every year and a half to two years, so these pictures needed to be posted. James has 7 siblings and they are spread out over 6 states in the US. They all have families of their own and so to get everyone together in one place is an event. We had 5 of the 8 siblings and families at this years reunion and it was still a crowd. I love it though. The kids loved it too. I am happy that they get to play with their cousins and if not establish lasting relationships with them, at least have a reference for future gatherings. We met in Tooele, UT for this one. With a 4 week old baby, it was tiresome but we had a good time and everyone stayed healthy and had a good time. Here's some of the highlights. 

 Grandma time!

 Jubilee got along just fine with Uncle James. 

 Molly knows how to take care of herself and where to find the food. 

 Scavenger hunt in the woods. 

 Molly's happy place. 

 Aunt Leila and Aunt Alyssa and company. 

 Isabelle and Cora

 Stuart

 Grandpa, Grandma, and Aunt Rachel

 Blowing bubbles was a mess, but so fun. 

 Benjamin and Cora

 Heidi and Molly

 Esther and Molly

 Do you see the Stewart resemblance? I do. 

 Grandpa played all of Lucy's favorites. 

 I helped James make this family tree for the program. The kids loved it. 

 Grandma Cora was telling all the grandkids a story, and Molly was cracking up. 

 Louis was present as well. 

 This gem was found while we were there. I guess she forgot to use these coupons or she was saving them for rainy day. 

 You know you're a Stewart when.... 

I should have taken these home and used them myself.